Wednesday, September 20, 2006

It felt abit wrong to be here when I ought to be really studying.
Haha.

I think I really do need to understand the meaning of contentment. It's a bit non-existent in my dictionary. Which is bad, because it can make me a very unhappy person easily. Grouchy, grumpy, whatever.

Where do you excatly draw the line between being contented and not setting standards? It can go both ways I think, maybe a balance is essential. Then again, I am not good with balance. I think the underlying question can be: What's so wrong about wanting/striving for the best? Is it wrong to want more? Ask for more?

Setting standards, too idealistic no? But there are places where standards need to be set right? Who determines the quality gauge? But then again, there are places where standards cannot be mapped out. In doing so, you might have shoot yourself in the foot.

Maybe demanding for more in terms of tangible things is alright. Studies, work, training. We all ought to do the best we can, we should never settle for second best when we are given the abilities to do much more. I'll like to think its not so much about the end result, but rather the struggling/fighting process. Do not struggle with this level of strength when you are actually much stronger. It's like shortchanging yourself.

I just don't get the part when it comes to people. Should you expect or should you not. If you hope and it turns out different, you get disappointed. But if you do not hope, it seems a tad wrong to think of those that matters so lowly. Be it friends or whatever in this case. Hope/expectation indirectly translate into having high/positive views of the person. It's like you would expect your friends to share a table with you much more than your expectation for a stranger. They can't be equal. Somehow.

When you throw in the amount of time spent together, the feelings that got tangled and the things that happened, you just can't help and expect something. However more often than not, anything/everything can fail you. So what do we do not? Walk around and be gloomly because we don't want to expect anything from anyone? That will be too sad I think.

Seriously, I don't know and I don't have a clue. It brings me back to the very first question. So we should just be contented? Whatever others do for us, we take it and be happy and do not expect anymore?

You know what? Maybe I am too sleepy. Told you its hard to be coherent. Ha.