Sunday, May 27, 2007

A little short update on the past week.

Wednesday saw me heading out to Vivo City(again!) after work with Jerry and Debo to have dinner. Spontaneously, we decided to catch Pirates and to my horror, it was a tad too long and ended quite late. Other than that, Johnny Depp absolutely make up for the horror by giving a quirky and wonderful performance in the movie.

When you have watched Part 1, Part 2, it seemed inevitable to catch Part 3 too. The company was even better. We dined at a HK cafe before proceeding to shopping while waiting for the movie to start. I think its dangerous to shop with Jeremiah because he is so rich, he encourages you to buy tops that have prices that are over the top(pun intended).

Me: Wah $53 for a top? I think it's too expensive.
Jerry: $53? Okay what, I think it's nice and you should buy it. $53 is not expensive.
Me: -_-"

But other than that, he is quite a good sport because he accompanies me and deb around without whining or complaining. I think we made him spent at least an hour in Forever21 with us. Hahaha.

Charlene! I met up with deborah okay! It was really fun spending time with her, listening to her talk about her life. And it encourages me greatly to see her growing so much spiritually in her walk with God. Deb, we really must spend more time together already. (: Go out often okay.

Thursday and Friday were peaceful, I enjoyed myself at home. Hahaha. I woke up late for the Ref Course on saturday but thank God I wasnt as late as I imagined myself to be. The ref course was conducted in Lecture style and I'm glad to be learning so many technical rules about game. I thought the conductor was not bad because he seems like he knows what he is saying.

I had service and a wonderful time of fellowship with the cell. Sunday had mission training which stretched for quite long. But nonetheless, it was an awesome time and it made me think. In the good way, not the bad way when I watch Greys then anyhow think. The story of the 5 missionaries opened my eyes to the Works of His hand. And although I am not an instant gratification kind of person(I rebuke that thinking severely), I do find myself spiritually short-sighted many times.

Maybe it's like what Sam says, I know the problem but has been too lazy to make an effort to rectify it. You know there are days when you feel so weary and you ask God why does He makes things so difficult for you sometimes. I found out yesterday that it is called 'unneccessary and excessive whining'. Whining like a baby.

If I will just open my eyes to what God is doing and what He is going to do, I wouldnt have time to grumble about how unfair life is. If I did look around, life is not about fairness. It is about making everyday count for Jesus. A few years back I would have rebutt that sentence and said, ' Yeah right, easier said than done!'

But what hits home is that if I would just walk closer to God each day and hear His heartbeat, things like making the right decisions will come naturally. It doesnt have to be very hard, I just got to stick close to God.

Like what I told my rgs girl, admist all these craziness and sadness, I would like very much to hang on to my only constant and that's Jesus. I feel sorry that He is just a history character to so many people around. If only they could see what He is doing..

If we would just see, if we would just listen.

I complained to yz and shiyun a few days ago on why people don't listen to me when I am right about things. I would be the one saying 'See I told you so' at the end of the day when my friends will remorsefully tell me 'You are really right'. It's not I think I am damn smart, it is just because I knew I was right. If only I am this good with exam questions -_-"

Anyway, who am I to say that! I wondered how many times God tells me something and yet I did not obey. And He knows EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. If I did not listen to the God who knows absolutely everything, who am I to show distaste when my friends do not trust in what I say? Even if I may be right, I am still in no position to whine. Steven Curtis Chapman will tell you: God is God, and I am man.

On a lighter note, I conversed shortly with my dear nina via sms today. She told me THE shocking(saddening) news and I think I understand how she feels. Nina don't be sad at least your tutor is proven to be straight. Mine still have people speculating that he could very well be gay. Although I see no signs of gayness in him *growls*

You know once you slip and fell in that slipper of yours, you will never trust it again. It is like you can still go around wearing it but the fear of falling will always be there. Simply because that slipper let you down once. You could pretend that you are okay with the slipper(we all do) but that doesn't mean that you approve of what it did.

Just like what Maroon 5 sings: If you did not hit the ground, doesn't mean that you are not still falling.

This week looks great. Team outing tonight. Training tmr. Missions training on Wed. Holiday on Thurs. Cp team outing on fri. Cell outing on sat(?). Wedding dinner on sun. Packed but looking forward to everything! (:

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose

- Jim Elliot

Truly inspiring.

Monday, May 21, 2007

I have a distant look in my eyes. Something that keeps people in but keeps them all out at the same time. I saw him approaching, keen to speak and on the edge of his seat. But I maintained my look, so much so that he started to withdraw. And finally had to be contented with not asking and just sitting.

I can't explain when did that look creeps into my soul. But I may be able to tell you how long it will stay. There are often many days where I wish it will continue because then I don't have to be accountable to anyone. Because they wouldn't ask. They don't dare to. And I would be safe.

So I can get lost in my own world thinking about the scar. The scar that serves as an invisible reminder to my wrong. I could never forgive myself for that. My words, they do not speak for themselves. My heart seems to be pulsating for any other reasons other than my own. I wonder if it is for you.

Elliot Perlman is scarily captivating. In an odd, non-comformist way.

Anyway, good food and great company seem to be on a roll since last week. Sunday saw me eating at a chinese restaurant with my family. Almost everyone turned up. The food was not my kind(except the shark fin) but it was definitely fun seeing all the aunties, uncles and cousins.

It was followed by monday's dinner with Shiyun. We dined at NYDC after much deliberation and whining from both sides. NYDC's desserts never fail to impress and we found ourselves very full at the end. Shiyun is officially the only person I know that eats whipped cream besides me. *clap clap* And she is an avid Grey's fan just like me. This is why we are friends even though she bullies me like crazy. Haha.

Alright so now I will rant about TV. I didn't managed to catch much this weekend. But I did catch Grey's Season 3 finale and I must say I am bewildered.

*Spoiler Alert*

I hate it when Derek gives a moving speech with that misty eyes of his. Did I tell you I have a soft spot for misty eyes? It is not alluring like Wentworth Miller. It's misty. And dreamy. And I always, always, fall for it. Damn.

When he looks at Meredith with that misty eyes of his, every word he said seemed to be from the bottom of his heart. It is as if he was a small puppy, pleading with her to commit. Okay, even if he did redeemed himself in this episode, I still think maybe they should just break up, since they are way too messed up already. Hahah.

But my heart goes out to George and Bailey, Christina and Burke. I knew when George took the test, he would fail it. Yet I did not forsee Callie being the Chief Resident rather than Bailey. That took me by surprise. I guess season 4 has a lot of explaining to do.

I am angry at Burke for calling off the wedding. Of all people, I did not expect him to be the one to back off at the last minute. If he knows that she is in it, why did he leave her? I thought the Christina-Burke's wedding story plot has been developed quite nicely along the way. But I think the ending kind of spoil everything.

One thing I disliked was when Meredith keep pushing Christina to get married because she needs to know that it is possible to get a 'happily ever after' ending. It is as if she was in denial about her failing relationship and she needed something happy to stop thinking about it. Christina is right to tell her that 'It is not about you now. It is about me.'

I always thought throughout the 3 Seasons of Greys, Christina and Burke has the strongest relationship to boast. Look at Izzie-Danny, Izzie-Alex, Izzie-George, George-Callie, George-Meredith, Meredith-Derek, Meredith-Finn, Derek-Addison, Addison-Mark, Richard-Adele, and many many more. All these relationships were shaky and some last, some didn't and one died.

But for Christina and Burke, even through dark moments like Burke getting shot and massive fights like the hand tremors incident, Christina and Burke have always been sure. They had put their hearts in this and never once thought of giving up or cheating on one another. That's a marvelous feat actually, consider the amount of drama every character went through.

So in my heart I hope they survived this wedding crap too. If they don't, we can safely conclude that the Grey's writers are a bunch of sadists and they never ever want any of their characters to be truly happy. BOOHOO.

And oh, Alex is back being an arse after being the nice guy for a while. I can't believe he picked Addison up just to get over Ava. Lucky Addison, being one of my favorite character, is being able to stop him and knock some sense into the confused boy.

I hope september comes soon, when a brand-new Greys Season 4 awaits me. (:

Arthritis hurts. I wish it would go away like the rain.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

There is probably more than one way in getting there.
BUT why are they always digging up the road I need?

Random.

I will save my ranting after I reviewed Grey's Season 3 finale. Heheh.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

There are days where you just have to disagree on EVERYTHING people says. I can't help but start all my sentences with 'BUT', which is a tad disturbing actually.

"If you have no appetite, why don't you drink the mushroom soup? I heard it's nice."
"BUT the soup got tons of pepper. I HATE pepper."

"Don't you like this drink?"
"BUT it tastes weird today!"

"I thought you are having a sore throat? Why are you eating my fried calamari?"
"BUT my throat feels fine now!"

"You always ask people to see a doc when they are sick, why arent you doing the same now?"
"BUT I have no fever already!"

"The ice cream is 14bucks."
"BUT I thought it's $11."

BUT BUT BUT. Urgh. I wish the virus would go away soon, if not all these whining, I mean, disagreeing will continue for some time.. Sigh.

Derek is an arse.

Spoiler Alert!

Derek: I met a woman last night.
Meredith: You met a woman last night?
Derek: At Joe's. Nothing happened. She was pretty, I noticed and we talked.
Meredith: So should I be worrried that you met a woman last night?
Derek: Should you be worried that I met a woman? No.. Should you be worried that flirting with that woman was the highlight of my week? Yeah you should be worried.

Oh my. I think he is being an absolute arse. Meredith had the intern exam, the deaths of her two mothers to mull over and all Derek can be is this sarcastic jerk that is such a far cry from the McDreamy we used to know. AIYAH BREAK UP LAH. After all the shit they went through at the end he is this whining boyfriend and she is this clueless girlfriend. Maybe they aren't meant to be together.

Drama. Tsk.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

They were right. From the moment you wake up to the time you fall asleep, you are filled with questions. I am filled with questions almost every part of the day. Some of us verbalise the questions all the time and get mixed reactions. The rest of us internalised the questions, without any need for the answers. There are some questions that we have always wanted to ask, but dare not because we fear the answers are not what we want to hear. Even more so, some questions are so dangerous, the truth is not an option.

Is my wife cheating on me with somebody else?
Is my business partner selling me out to our rival company?
Is my cute tutor attached/married/gay?

You get the drift. Questions like these that we are dying to know. Questions like these that eat us up. I realised that questions that deal with betrayal or dissapointment are often the questions that we are afraid to ask, because the truth often breaks us. And we know we can't take it. But not addressing the question does not means that it doesn't exist. Its like saying when I am having a headache, thinking that I don't doesn't make it go away.

We can paint the consequences, yet we can't always paint the results that we want to see.

So does having a lot of questions mean you are doubtful of things? Does that means you have little faith of what you see? Actually all of us should have little faith of what we see since what we see are more than often anything but the truth. Then it means that all of us should be doubtful, we should be questioning. But then again, no point asking someone else a question when you know he/she is going to lie anyway. Maybe we should answer the questions ourselves, but then people will accuse you of assuming without any proof.

I can assume without any proof. I am really THAT good.

Anyway, let's just leave the questioning thing here for now. I feel that the more I delve into it, the more uncertain I am of myself and many things. So we should stop it.

I know I have been lamenting about the changes, praising the unchanging elements and constantly mulling over the past. It is something that I can't help but do it. So I took a step back to examine myself to see if I have changed. Asking myself the million dollar question, 'Have you changed, Huiying?'

And of course the winning answer will be 'Duh, of course I did, silly!'

How could anyone not? It just depends on how drastic and what kind of change we are talking about. I know I have outgrown La Bi Xiao Xin. That used to be one thing that really cracks me up. But while watching the cartoon and reading the comics sometime this year, I found myself not laughing along with the perverted boy anymore. Oh how saddening. I think spongebob is looking less funnier nowadays. So is baby blues... Argh, please don't let me outgrow babyblues! I really think I love it muchly.

Funny to me is...

30 Rock. I find the show really funny.
Hugh Laurie. His wits on the set of House cracks me up often.
Chiteng. She is crazily funny. You should see the things she does.

Quirky. Am I getting quirkier? Damn.

Yeah of course I've changed in some ways and some ways still remained the same. My taste for music, my choice of clothes and even my processing of thoughts. My way of concealing, my channel of expression. My heart for children and my love for animals. How anal I am about smells, and how I hate it when people touch/wear/displace my clothes and stuff(my roomie of 2 sem will tell you how mad I would get). Some stayed the same when others choose different ways to present themselves now.

Dinner was good tonight. Had great company and food at Sakae Sushi at Eastpoint today to celebrate one colleague's birthday. I got a treat =D How very nice. If everyday is filled with good company and food like yesterday and today, I wouldn't have complained about anything at work I promise.

Anyway I think kids like to hug people. It is either that or I look very huggable to them. Remember the little tyke that grabbed my leg last night at marche? Today my colleague's toddler daughter hug me when we were sitting down and it left me feeling VERY ticklish instead. The girl was loads of fun. The way she talks, the speed she talks and the AMOUNT she talks. Man, you should see how her mum rolled her eyes at her own daughter ramblings. How very cute.

Okay a tip for you. Don't say 'So cute' to the mother when the child does things like talking back to the mother or refusing to obey her. Because it might seem cute to you but I assure you the mother feels otherwise. Whenever I cleverly give that 'He is so cute' feedback to the mum, it is usually reciprocated with 'SO CUTE? If you hear that EVERYDAY, I wonder if you will still find it cute!'

Ahhhh.

I love to be in the company of children. They make you happy and everything seems flowery somehow. They don't conceal and they don't lie(okay fine, they don't lie about major issue). They giggle without a care and they dance for you to see like there is no tomorrow.

Oh but they ask plenty of questions. And they love to repeat themselves just so you know they spoke. They can get very manipulative, yet when they flash that sunshine smile, all naughty behaviour can be dismiss with a oh-so-cute excuse.

Alright this is so long. Let me end off with something funny from work.

Me: Alright that's all you can leave now
Patient: Thank you! And see you again~
Me: Er, for your sake I hope not!

byeeeee.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I am not dead!

Okay, nobody thought I was but I am down with an infection and I don't even think its the flu bug. It's queer isn't it? No flu no sore throat, just a damn swollen tonsils. The next thing I know, the virus attacked like crazy and I believe my immune system didn't have ample time to mount a response then bang! The fever came. Nasty and fast. 38.9. In no time I was reduced to a shivering whimp on the bed that felt like she is on fire.

But I am glad that with some rest and the trusty panadol, the fever came down. I became functional again! Three cheers and thank God for that. The swollen tonsils still puzzled me though. I should really have it removed. Urgh.

Anyway, today might not be the most effectively-spent day but it was definitely a good one. Rested at home and watched Simple LIfe which cracks me up. Paris and Nicole are so unbelievably insane, I couldn't stop laughing. I couldn't stop rolling my eyes too. But when evening came, I got myself out of the house to meet the ntu cp people for a great dinner.

We stopped over at Marche in Vivo for dinner. I missed Marche! I thought they died but apparently there is still a sole survivor in Vivo. The food was so-so, I think they had better food back in Heeren and Suntec. But oh well, didn't have much a choice but the company was fun. We were talking silly stuff and just joshing around as usual. When taking photo with the signature Marche cow, a little tyke suddenly came over and hug my leg. How cute is that? Kids are very adorable, Karen, you just need to be NICE to them. Hahah.

After dinner, we proceed to the arcade for a good time of fun! I have never played TIme Crisis before, it was my first time today. I thought it was a violent game with all that shooting. Anyway, we made alot of noise playing the 'hockey' thing where you are supposed to shove discs into the opponent's goal. Spontaneously grouped ourselves into SRRR's NTU1 and NTU2 again and we laughed like mad. That game never fails to get me high. I watched some of them played Daytona and now we know Yuzheng is a better driver than Elaine. But then again, who is not compared to that reckless girl?

Arcade was followed by shopping at this Japanese Supermart that sells things for 2 bucks. The place is big but it usually shouldn't be THIS interesting. However throw in the right company, you get people doing silly things like putting on the lao hua specs and posing with butterfly nets. Loads of fun again. (:

Ice cream was alright, Cleo magazine reading was more fun. Then we proceed to whine about having to work tomorrow while those who don't looked on smugly... I took NEL home and had a good time walking back from the mrt station.

Back tracked a little to the weekends. Weekends was great. SRRR ended for us but it has been some experience for me since it is my first SRRR. The end results may not have been what we wanted but hey, at least we managed to play for as long as we could. Now just need to take whatever we could from this competition and hopefully by the next one, things could be better. Anyway, canoe polo should have more competitions! It is just not as fun if there is so little things to look forward to. Canoeing have so many competitions! Don't even get me started on dragonboat...!

Okay other than that, many other things on my mind. Hopefully because there is no more SRRR, I could get started on them and clear as many stuff as I could asap. I think I kind of miss NTU.... OKAY FINE. I just miss him alot alot. ): Alright peeps, have loads of fun and bye for now.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Kids are amazing.

me: *snapped my finger* Mine is loud huh.
lucas: Yours is louder because you have a bigger hand, mine is softer because my hand is smaller!
me: interesting... who told you that...
lucas: *totally ignoring my question* When I grow up to 6 years old then I can snap my fingers loudly.
me: 6 years old? Why 6 years old? Why not 7?
lucas: ermm..... *gives an innocent look and hides himself*

He is only 3 years old yet he speaks with such clarity and logic. But of course, the last part was cute, he didnt know how else to answer my question.

Kids. Awwwwww (:

One week passed quickly.

I am glad to be back at work, for nothing much has changed. I am impressed and yet amused at how things were kept the way they were when I left. And when I returned, nothing much varied and I find myself in a safe place that I am comfortable in. I just can't believe that nothing change, when in uni all I know is all the constant changes that I see and I feel. So when the crazy world keeps on spinning, I thank God He brought me back to somewhere familiar. That's a feat, at least to me. Hello, you can call me skeptical because that what I am now. Nothing but skeptism.

So today we visited the newborn. Boy, is he an angel (: Babies are cute! Though karen will tell you otherwise but I really think they are the sweetest thing in the world. Even the mother that had carried him around for 9 months will tell you that he is worth all the pain. I looked at him today. And I looked at all the newborns in that nursery. I cant help but think that 'Damn, they are going to go through so much shit when they grow up.' It's not that I think they shouldn't be born, it's just I know that they will experience issues that will break them when they grow up.

Oh great. Now I am skeptical and cynical. Somebody better put a stop to all these. I need to be all cheery and shiny again.

Okay so Derek did rejected the flirtation of that hot girl in the bar. But I heard that the hot girl got signed up for 13 episodes next season. Any veteran tv junkie will know that it means something to be signed on for THAT many episodes. So don't be too hopeful yet about the Meredith and Derek issue.

We should never be TOO hopeful of anything.

I forgot to mention in my last post while talking about crossing the line. Maybe you thought that George was confused about his feelings for Callie and Izzie, maybe the line was not clear and he didnt know if he crossed it. But I thought that its quite a lousy excuse to blame the line for your own wrong. You know, you can blame the line for being blurred, you can blame the situation for being intricate. You can attribute the wrong almost to anything. You can do that if you can live with it.

Maybe we should take a step back and be like Lynette. Who knows? It can very well be that we dont want the line to be that clear and that straight because deep down, we enjoy crossing it yet we don't know how else to explain our straying. I never say things are simple and always just right or wrong. I know how grey some things can get. But more than often God gave us the power to paint the consequences of our decisions.

Are you a wise painter?

But anyway, I dont want to bring this further in case I got misunderstood(as what happen ALWAYS). To prevent myself from sounding too blue or emo, I shall insist that whatever thoughts I posted has nothing to do with what happen to me. Just some things I draw from everywhere, anywhere. Nothing in particular, not addressing anything, not being specific. Hahaha.
Alright, let's end the post with the new darling. He looks so peaceful! And definitely cute (:

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I had a weird dream last night. A really queer and funny dream.

I dreamt that we were playing canoe polo with the characters from Heroes! -_-" Don't ask me how I formulated that in my sleep, it just happened. There was us at the pool, and there was as usual two teams. One forms the Good team and the other, the Evil team. Needless to say, Sylar was on the Evil Team. He and some super duper strong guys were against us.

Us being me, Peter, Matt and Ted from Heroes. I think Yuzheng was in our team or something. And I remembered we were having such a hard time because Sylar was so strong. He made super good passes and everyone on his team was so fast and mechanical. Then Peter, being the nice guy he was, kept encouraging us to play better.

Then Peter started to absorb radiation from Ted and his hands began to glow(Spoiler warning!). Just like how I have read about it on Heroes's website. It was so dangerous because he was on water playing polo with us. I dreamt that Peter started putting his hands into the water because the radiation is heating up.

Then BANG! I couldn't remembered the rest of the dream already. Hahahah. What a weird dream right. Polo plus Peter. Hahaha. So I guess this weekend when no one will be cheering for my team(I get the feeling they are waiting for us to screw up), I shall pretend that Peter from Heroes is cheering us on. Hahah.

Drama, drama and more drama. Today my day started with much drama. Being a huge fan of GA and House, I have seen 'patients' on the show crashing(means going to die) and the staff would rush in with the crash cart and everything. Doctors will run in and the nurses will shout for code blue. But today when it happened right outside my dept, I kind of got a shock.
Some malay man collapsed suddenly and his niece started shouting hysterically. Bloodcurdling shrieks and deafening screams filled the place.

It was only 8:50am. So I stood in my room in shock, watching the PSA called Code Blue. Seeing my colleagues rush out with a bed, seeing the Geri nurses rush out with the crash cart. Hearing the PA annoucing 'Code Blue outside CMU'. Apparently the relative is doing a procedure in my dept and when they told her what happened, she cried out loud.

But everything got in order shortly. I heard that the man was okay after being rushed down to A&E. And I heard that calling for Code Blue was not such a good call since the patient didnt really crashed. But whatever it is, glad that the family is okay. I got such a scare. I said a little prayer for them, I think God heard me.

OH! Today I found a new eye candy! (: But he's already taken I heard. Apparently I am not the only one who finds him good looking. I cant remember if he is the physiotherapist that I thought was cute the last time I worked there. But whoever he is, he is really cute. Yuzheng is very funny, she asked me to make do with him until school starts. Hahah. Sigh, even when school starts, I dont think I would get to see who I want to see. ):

Okay enough for trashy talk. Let's talk about DH. I watched the latest episode and my, I got to say I respect Lynette more than ever before. If anyone of you follows DH(I doubt anyone), you will know that Lynette was this close to having a extra marital affair with the new guy, Rick. Rick was everything Tom(Lynette's husband) was not. He was sweet and nice and Lynette really like him. But when Rick wanted more than just subtle flirtations, Lynette put a stop to everything and ask him to go.

She said this to Rick that I really liked: ' Yes we have been flirting. Thats it. Thats what married people do. Because you know there is a line you dont cross. Maybe I've gotten close to that line, and maybe I've enjoyed getting close to that line. But I have never once crossed it.'

Love it. She earned my respect with that. Because she is someone who knows what she is doing. She admits her enjoyment of getting close to the line. At least she don't lie about how she feels and what she has done. Very admirable. When caught in a messy situation like hers, most people I know will just lie their way through and try to play down everything. But Lynette chose to be honest. And she chose not to stray, even though she could have. She might nearly had.

Jump forward to the latest episode of GA. The 2 hours special that featured the spin-off. At first I was so skeptical about the spin-off, thinking it will not be as great as the mother ship. But watching that episode got me rather excited about the spin-off. I mean who wouldnt want to see more of Addison? And Tim Daly could just be the next McDreamy. Very tasteful indeed.

Oh so we were saying about Lynette not straying. I know I think George is cute but he is wrong. Not because T.R Knight is gay but because George O'Mailey is straying. He keeps saying he has to go, he has to leave Izzie. But more than often what he is doing is actually drawing emotionally closer to her. The kiss in the elevator. I thought to myself what the hell was that for? If he is so keen to not cheat on Callie, he should never have kissed Izzie. What he did was simply doing more damage to Izzie. If you saw that look on her face when he left the elevator, you would know how devastated she was.

I hate it when he keeps saying 'I cant do this, Izzie', 'I have to go' or 'I will not do this to Callie'. Know why I hate it? Because he is LYING. He is not confused, he knows who he is attracted to. It could be both or it could be just one but he sure knows who he is attracted to. So why lie when you know it aint that? I hate the lying part. He keeps saying he cant do this but he keeps carrying Izzie in his heart.

Maybe I have to change my statement previously abit: Tasteful but stupid George.

If only all of us is like Lynette. Aware of the line that shouldnt be cross and not cross it. Admitting that there are some mistakes we enjoy making. Sorry for the long post, been thinking a lot these days(explains the weird dream). Sigh bye for now.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Today I got a cheap thrill buying lozenges from the pharmacy in my scrubs.
The perks? I got a 10% discount because I am a staff. Wahaha. Somehow that feels good.
But other than this, I feel like ripping my shoulder AND my tonsils off now.
The damn tonsils always get inflammed. And when that happens I feel like self-medicating because I cant really deal with the pain. The image of antibiotics keep flashing in my mind but theres no way I can get it without a prescription.
Then that means I have to see a doctor.
And I have to see a sinseh for the shoulder that is driving me crazy.

But I hate seeing doctors. ARGH.

Unless they look like one of them from GA, then it is a different story. Have I mention how tasteful George is looking nowadays? But I keep having to throw the fact that he is gay to the back of my mind because that kind of ruined everything. George oh George (:

Stupid nina got me thinking about him. I was going to you know, not think too much. But I guess we could whine together then. Hahaha. And Charlene! Who is your eye candy? Up to standard one or not... Me and nina's ones super super super high standard okay. Hehehe.

Okay I need to put my head down now. ):

I know this is going to sound crazy but sometimes I really wish I wasn't right about many things.

I am not boasting, this is actually depressing for me.

Sigh. Where are you.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

It's funny because I had just written a post with so much angst and I nearly published it.
Then I thought for a while, maybe not.
Why tell people how you really feel when you know they are going to judge or even get offended?

Nah, i'll stick to this for now.

Those pent-up thoughts and emotions. I just have to do this alone and not let them eat me up. I think I can. Pretty good at such stuff. If I can rip my shoulder off, I think I would. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Luckily going home with Rudith was good. At least things are being contained.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

I'm abit tired. I think its the Sun.

But just so you know, I am still alive. Hahaha. I am now watching Naruto face off with some baddie called Shabadaba.

Seriously? What the heck does Shabadaba even mean??

Anyway, I hate the way the writers are bringing us on Grey's Anatomy. I don't mean to spoiler, but THEY GOT DEREK A FREAKING NEW GIRLFRIEND. Okay I am just assuming here about the girlfriend part but I am quite sure they are introducing a new girl to the whole shaky Meredith-Derek relationship. Damn it. I really hate it when they do this.

But it's not off the roof is it? I mean they are being quite real here arent they? Much as Derek is the McDreamy we see, he is still a guy. Guys don't think with their brains. They are hardly sentimental and almost always never fails to cheat. I am not saying that girls are the nice and loyal species and girls don't cheat. But lets not digress and start a gender war.

My point is, I kind of scoff at what I see with the whole Meredith-Derek thing. That is how things are always, arent they? A relationship gets shaky, a new girl comes along and the guy cheats. And oh a thousand and one reasons they will give in order to justify why they cheat. I know Meredith could be difficult sometimes. She refuses to communicate and pushes people away. Not your typical bright and shiny girlfriend. But did Derek just conveniently forgot that when he was drowning(in self-pity), she was the fresh air that saved him?

As I have always lamented, one bad always erases all the good. I hate the GA writers sometimes. Can't they like just give us an impossibly nice and perfect guy(because it is impossible to find one in real life)? Isn't what tv should be about? Hahaha. I mean, don't give us what we already know mah! We thought Derek was perfect for almost 3 seasons, now they go and throw us a curveball. Damn.

And while we are still on tv, I thought Desperate Housewives deserved a mention. So as I was watching, I was thinking about the way the writers created each characters to be. And I got to salute them for the way they made Gabby out to be. I think she is the only woman that is super-increadibly bitchy and still very lovable. I mean if you were to watch how demanding and crazy she was on DH, you wouldn't believe that she is quite popular with the audience.

Did I mention how I love what Vern said about her?
Gabby: Vern! These girls are not peagent materials?! How am I supposed to coach them?
Vern: Don't be mean Gabby! Not everyone won the genetic lottery like you did!

Hahah classic.

Today while watching the matches I found myself inevitably cheering for the underdogs. Maybe I've watch too much Naruto. But I think nobody really gets me because they don't watch soccer and they don't watch Naruto. But I recall Naruto and underdogs because in Naruto, it's all about the underdogs triumphing the talents. I know its a tad unrealistic because talents are called talents for a reason. But I believe the winning team is the fighting team.

When Naruto was up again Hyuuga Neji in the battle, I believe nobody expected Naruto to win. As much as they believed in the good and the spirit of Naruto, they think he won't make it because Neji is Neji. He is the no.1 Rookie in his year and blessed with much skills and talents that was acquired effortlessly. Neji was impossible to beat, he was way above his own league. With his byakugan, Naruto was to be a piece of cake.

If we were to compare, Neji is like 100 Narutos. Can you imagine? 1 against 100? What are the odds of winning? Almost zero. But Naruto fought like hell. He really fought like mad. I forgot how the match went but I know despite having no chance of winning, Naruto went against the odds to show the world that hey, the underdogs do win sometimes.

Neji had the skills, experience, talents.
Naruto had the heart.

I guess if I have a choice, I would want to be the one that has the heart instead of everything else Neji had.

Because the heart always win. It always does.

Okay okay, I must fish out the disc that has the battle between Naruto and Neji at teh Chuuin Exam. To get the inspiration and hopefully 'borrow' Naruto's heart for my own battle tomorrow. I think I would need it.

So bye for now!!! (:

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Okay so things change.

And I'll be the one standing by the side and watch everything slip away.

Yeah I will.

Time to play for a while.

Re-align and take a break. (:

Happy happy!