Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I feel somehow that the rainy day calls for a short but proper update. Okay, prehaps not the rainy day but this dead blog is calling for a update. Whichever way, there will be an update.

I just returned home from a in my opinion fantastic team outing with the girls at peishan's place. There were so much fun and laughter just now that I am raelly glad I was present, in the house at that very moment. The dinner was simple, no fanciful stuff, the joy, apparent. Although there were some strings attached(flight to catch and other places to go), but everyone just put aside the 'outside' things for the dinner and enjoyed ourselves.

I met Jasmin and Mich earlier to go peishan's place to cook. Before you start voicing concern about my culinary skills and whether or not I burned her place down, ask everyone about the pasta and fried nuggets I cook! It is very nice, in Mindy's words. *beams* Actually I am beginning to think that I may have quite a flair for cooking? Alright maybe not but it was fun preparing the food with them. Jasmin and I went a bit crazy and peishan's concerns about the both of us in a same kitchen became justified. Damn. Anyhow, their salads were good and so was the brocolli.

Desserts were even better. Today I get my way. FINALLY. I GET MY WAY! YAY! *beams* This is why I love the 11 of them. They say yes to what I want, not because they are spoiling me but because they appreciate my choice. Finally I get to pick the brands of the ice cream I want. And yes! I oot my Haagen Daz's Strawberry Cheesecake and some B&J flavour. Nice. (:

Gift exchange was fun too. I felt like I am the game master because I kind of knew who is getting present for who. Some I asked, some told me themselves. I will give a clue, and usually a very obvious clue, to whoever is guessing. So the exchange was successful. I can't believe chiteng knew I was buying for her already! To think me and leepeng secretly applauded ourselves for our brillant plot of leading chit to choose her own present. So she knew! But anyway, it doesnt matter as long as she likes the present. I like my *ahem* present too, because I appreciate the person who bought the present. But the second piece is a bit erm, naughty? I don't think anyone of you should expect to see me doning it.

After that we sat in the living room, sipping red wine and talking. Actually I didnt really sip the red wine I just sort of gulp it down. I seemed to have this problem of not slowly finishing my drink. The red wine was good because it wasn't bitter. The talking part was even better, because we talked about way too many things. From boys to love lives(which both are non existent in my life), to the past nj canoeing days, to my tyranny ways(which I have forgotten but many remembered -_-"), to hall life and to so many other things. We just laughed and laughed and laughed. And I know if time had permitted us to, we would have gone on and on. But sadly, we had to say our goodbyes.

Today is a good day I hope, even to you whom you know who you are. And I hope even with school starting, every thing will start to look up. Today I realised that maybe I am mildly domesticated. Today I had my strawberry cheesecake. Today I went back home with shumin! Today I fried food without having oil splattered on me. Today I received a super interesting christmas present. Today, I thank God for today. (:

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I feel like I am dead?
Not enough sleep, off to get some now.
Bye (:

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I have been window-shopping past few days in an ultra weak attempt to save money. I know this sounds ironic because when I shop I am taking the very high risk of me spending money when I am supposed to be saving. But these few days the phrase 'The irony of life!' seems to be kind of stuck in my head, I find myself actually relating to that.

Sometimes I just wish from the bottom of my heart that the things I like can be a little little bit cheaper. You know, the clothes, the food and everything. I would really appreciate it if they were cheaper, then in that case I would have nothing to complain about life. Unlike what I am doing now.

Maybe should heed peishan's suggestion: get a someone who will buy things for me. Know what I mean right? Oh wait that just sounds so wrong! Ps, what were you thinking! See the values I learned from shopping with her? Joking. :p Yeah but a real santa claus would be kind of good for my wallet.

Sigh bye.

Monday, December 18, 2006

The weather now make it almost impossible to be distracted. I think this is a good time for update. The rain has started to pour again and the surrounding is as quiet as can be. I am sitting in front of my laptop, nursing a strained right arm, typing seems better than doing anything else remotely related to using the right arm.

So christmas is coming. With all the hype and festive spirit, I hope everyone get their fair share of the Christmas miracle. I can't wait for Strings on thursday when I get to see my whole team. I just really don't want people celebrating the festival without the birthday boy. That would be odd wouldn't it? And I am very sorry to have stood Deborah up today for her party, my bad I apologise. More parties are coming up and I hope each and everyone enjoy the holidays while we can!

Today was a fun day. No more rotting in hall now that I have ps and OC. We had our basketball match and ps nearly scared me to death with her injuried arm. And so here I say again, if I have the means or the power, I would have prevented this from happening. Unfortunately I don't so I can't. We got driven to the medical centre where the basics were done to address the problem and I am just praying it gets better soon. We OC-ed for two hours then left for town.

I think I was rather helpful today(was I ps?), helping ps while she shopped. I mean she was always the one doing things and looking after me when I was sick, was rather glad to be able to contribute today. Shopping was fun and I saw so many things that I would like to have. But having identifying them as 'wants' rather than 'needs' I didn't get anything in the end. Boohoo. :( From the creators of the Tatty-Ted bear, there is this new brown bear that looks incredibly appealing. Maybe its just me but yeah, the bear pretty much caught my attention. Ps was telling me soft toys aren't practical etc, I think I need to remind her that she is the one who has a bigbigbig snoopy SOFT TOY in her room. But then maybe she will brush it off by saying Snoopy is not a soft toy or something, knowing her. lol.

We had gone through a ridiculous 1.5hr wait for a taxi, it is almost unbelivable. Maybe what our cab driver said was true, the cabs abandoned the old ikea for the new and much hyped up Tampines one. You wouldn't believe what happened during the 1.5hrs of waiting. We had to entertain ourselves. We talked, played, joked, ate and rotted. Talked super alot in the 1.5hrs in a weak attempt to kill time and we found out that when ps is sleepy, she is crazy. It is kind of fun conversing like that while waiting for a stupid cab, it almost made the wait worthwhile.

Talked abit more about the shows I am watching another time(though I think charlene wouldnt want to hear about shows). I need to sleep. Nights!

Monday, December 11, 2006

So now we are on this topic of pain. I was watching Oprah Primetime just now and the episode featured kids with three kind of hereditary disorders. CIPA(congenital insensitive to pain), Tourette Syndrome and one baby has a pair of conjoined legs. Then of course, there were the usual discussions with the sufferers of these disorders. Except that it appears to be a little ironic to use 'suffer' in the first case because the patient can't feel any pain actually, which is what causes the pain in a way. Oh! the irony of life you say.

Anyway, I thought it sounded interesting to have CIPA. There is this genetic mutation that prevents the formation of the nerve cells responsible for transmitting the signals of pain, heat and cold. Then you could go through life, pain-free, with no phobia for needles, and no friends to laugh at you when you express any fear for pain. Alright the latter was not so applicable but who cares. However, as the mother of the patient shared about how hard it is for the girl to live healthily, my views began to change. She reminded the audience that they don't know how lucky they are, to be able to feel pain. Again you say, the irony of life.

The little girl can't feel anything, which in a way means that she could keep on doing things to hurt herself without knowing how grave it is. She poked her finger INTO her eye which nearly caused her to be blind. She grabbed a burning light bulb that gave her a second degree burn. And when she was a baby, she nearly chewed her fingers up. It is as hard for the family as it can be and although they are handling it beyond themselves, the struggles are ever so evident.

Tourette Syndrome is an inherited neurological disorder with onset in childhood. People suffering from this have physical and vocal tics. A tic is a sudden, repetitive, stereotyped, nonrhythmic, involuntary movement (motor tic) or sound (phonic tic) that involves discrete groups of muscles. They usually have OCD(Obsessive-compulsive disorder) and they can't control what they do sometimes. For some, they can be shaking their heads without wanting to; for others, it may be blinking of their eyes, coughing or twitching of the leg or hand.

It is not life threatening in a way as compared to the first but people with Tourette Syndrome suffer a lot. The kids get mocked by friends in school, they received impatience, teasing and prejudice constantly. It is a struggle, to be treated as a normal person when they are actually a normal person already. The social stigma and it takes a lot out of a kid to handle this properly. There is no cure for it but medication can help. The severity of the tics decreases for most children as they pass through adolescence, and extreme Tourette's in adulthood is a rarity.

From the ways the kids chatted with Oprah, you can see their level of maturity goes beyond what is required for their age. It has been hard growing up and living with this disorder. I got to salute them for living so well with it, despite of many hiccups along the tough road. This should put some of us to shame, with no neurological disorders or biological mutations, we should be living life to the fullest. Some of us are not even living. Then again, it depends a lot on your definition of living.

That aside, I kind of like Oprah Primetime, it's captivating in an interesting way. I am not huge on talk shows but this is beginning to change. So I was reading about Tourette Syndrome and OCD, I came across OCPD. The latter differs from the first by the fact that is it not stress-related, just a personality disorder. And it is really counted as a medical condition if it interferes with the patient's ability to live a normal life. People with OCPD stress the need for perfection in the things they do to a point where it can get a little extreme.

I like arranging things the way I want them to be. Straight, rigid, neat and never out of line. It can get a little obessive at times, and I can spend hours arranging my cd rack or books rack. The article that talked about OCPD suggested that 'Perfectly aligning objects at complete, absolute right angles' can be a sign.

Oh no! I do that all the time! When I was young, I will take a long time to pack my schoolbag. I need all the books to be arrange in a order of the tallest to the shortest. I still do it now though, just that I don't have a lot of books to carry. Then when I started to own cds, I insisted on arranged them in a right angle with respect to the rack. They must be straight, definitely and should never appear to be out of the line. I remember if my sister borrowed the cd and put it back hastily, I will get mad that the cd is not arranged in right angle and will take time to arrange it back. And my handwriting! I was absolutely stupid when I was young. Whenever I sit for my exam, I always write so neatly that I ran out of time to answer the last few questions. That is dumb I know but I have a nagging and tugging feeling if I write not so neatly. Then I will go back and rectify the 'problem'. It was only when I got bigger that I realised answering ALL the questions is more important than answering SOME of the questions NEATLY. I still do it now and then sometimes. The most recent one being my Econs paper, wasted quite some time writing neatly, stupid I know, but I can't help it.

Anyhow, it is definitely not a problem for me. I became more of a slob(relative to when I was young) now that I got older. I like being at home, can I be home all day? And I miss michelle! Random.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I am reading a book, after a long hiatus away from books that I enjoys reading. Textbook not counted you see. The book is called The Six Questions of Socrates, I just moved past the first questions. Five more to go! Maybe after reading it, I can have my answers to my questions.

I need a couch maybe. One at hall and another one at home. So I can perch and read. Finding a comfortable position to read is kind of hard, I am still on my search. Recently picked up a couple of reads too, unknown author(at least to me) proves to be unpredictable. I truly hope they are worth the while, recently I've done many things not worth the while already. Some how have to learn to balance you see.

Went to the highlife camp after megalife yesterday, it was interesting, but I think I missed out on way too much to comment about anything. Ride home was fun, a last minute decision had us ended up at geylang for beancurd. Then a nice, comfy ride home. Talked to shiying and it was really nice! Shing! We should do it more often! (:

Cell was even better. The kids had their round of routine captain's ball matches. I am beginning to think it has developed into a weekly need. Haha. After captain's ball, we played my new improvised Uno Stacko. Many thanks to sean for digging up his Uno stacko. It was quite fun seeing them trying their very best to be gentle with the bricks/tiles. Especially the boys! All of you better go and read your bible arh, then can get the immunity.

Bye for now. My book is getting more and more interesting.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Team? My ass.

Everybody does what they think is right, that's the only reason why people do anything anyway. Been long since I have such negative emotions towards anything, it must have really been bad. Look on the bright side, see the good in everyone... How about a loud 'HAHAHA'? That would suffice. But it's okay, since I have already find it meaningless before I even started. When you start low, you don't fall much.

Too idealistic, too emotional, too extreme. Just a little too much of 'too' nowadays. Too retarded? That would be correct too. Frustration takes a new high, but as if it matters if its a new high or a new old. Somethings are just so glaringly obvious, I feel like smacking whoever that tries to paint otherwise.

Give me back my peishan,michelle,jasmin,rachel,tsinli,xintian,
shumin,leepeng,chiteng,VANESSA,mindy. And I will be good I promise.


CRAP.

Friday, December 08, 2006

I feel like slapping myself upside down, inside up.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

We(me chit jo) went to Toy'R'Us, and all we see is leepeng to our dismay. Apparently Chit had so much fun playing that she went abit bonkers. Leepeng! buy a cap for me! I need to cover up my ugly hair..... boohoo.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

It is so boring in hall! :(

My roomie is working, my neighbour is sick, so technically, I am left alone to entertain myself. I wanted to read a book but my eyes are tired. I wanted to watch a show but I have ran out of things to watch. I wanted to surf the net but that will make my eyes tear. Lucky for today, I had leepeng to go out with me, if not I will end up like yesterday, bored and whining.

Yesterday was supposed to be eventful, supposed to have sort of road trip to JB. But things happened, then it was cancelled. A tad frustrated but it's okay. Today was way better, had hockey training which got me sunburnt then it was off to meet leepengpeng. We watched Open Season which was quite heartwarming and cute(read: nothing spectacular) and I bought some stuff. Thank you leepengpeng! Although you hit my leg until very pain just now(chit's ball was more painful) I really thank God that I have you to spend time with!

Everything was good. But I think that whole thing wasn't good. And with the question posted, I sort of knew my answer.

I don't want to be a player actually.

Monday, December 04, 2006

The Freedom We Know

We're gonna dance dance dance
In the freedom we know
We're gonna dance dance dance
In the freedom we know

We're gonna dance dance dance
In the freedom we know
Because the freedom we know is gonna last forever

The world turns in all of its way
But I'm soul set on a holy name
And when all earth is said and done
Still I will praise Him

There's no end to the love that He gives
And now broken dreams have life again
In the hope of the risen King
So let us praise Him

A mystery unthinkable
That He took the fall just to save my soul
Now to love is the life I know
On and on and on we’ll be singin’

Soul set free in the One I love
Oh come on come on
And let the whole earth sing
In the freedom we know
So come on come on and praise Him

Come come all the lost and the found
Let us rise up with a holy sound
All the earth unified as one
Just to praise Him

In full view with nothing to hide
Like a city on a hill we're gonna shine
In the light of Your freedom
Let us praise Him

This is so the song of the moment in Megalife. And for once, I truly really felt like dancing. (:

Sunday, December 03, 2006

I have always wanted to do this but was in hold because of exams. As you guys already known, I have been watching Grey's Anatomy and House and today I would like to talk about this Season 3 for both shows. No major spoilers ahead so fans of these two shows can continue reading. Both shows are into their season 3 now after a hugely successful season 1 and 2. I think Grey is doing slightly better than House in terms of rating and I personally think it is because of Derek's hair (ha!).

Alright so now Grey's is into its 11th episode already. This season saw more characters developing and more relationships blossoming. It is interesting because it is no longer just about Meredith and Derek then a bit on George or Izzie or Christina. I think one of the episodes actually has more coverage on Christina and Burke relative to Meredith. Past few episodes have been a little intense. Christina and Burke's secret is going way out of control, George has way too many issues to deal with, the chief wants to step down and Izzie is... well nothing much about her. The only people who seem to be doing really well are surprisingly Derek and Meredith! Somebody applaud to that please. Season 2 is like how tragic for these two. I am glad that the producers are humane enough to make them reconcile in Season 3, if not I think all of us will die watching the both of them.

My interest is definitely on George now. T.R Knight’s performances in these past episodes have been outstanding to say the least; I can see where the most supporting actor came about. George’s issues seem to get bigger and heavier, he really looks as if he is suffocating already. First Callie has been an absolute meanie to him, refusing to talk to him and George found out that she has been sleeping with Sloan. First blow. Then George found out about Burke’s trembling hand, he got worried about his friend who refuses to talk to him about it. Lastly, George’s dad got admitted into the hospital and they found he had stage 3 cancer (forgot where). Double blow. Then Christina found out that the elder O’Mailey’s heart valves needs a replacement while doing an echo. So now he has got a heart condition. Triple blow.

So things are tough for George. And it got tougher when they overlapped. Burke was scheduled to operate on his dad and this drove George crazy. George knew something wrong is with Burke’s hand but Burke is keeping mum about it, and this is his father we are talking about. Their relationship deteriorates and everything just weighs down on him. T.R Knight has been doing a good job portraying a going-to-burst George. You should have seen the sheer intensity in those kind eyes, something you hardly get from George. It’s like he wants so much for Christina to tell the truth yet he imposes it ever so gently on her. No shouting no demanding, just pleading nicely on his part. No prize for guessing why Christina calls him bambi.

The spotlight is on George now, with Christina and Burke following close. The Chief wants Burke to replace him, Burke knew he couldn’t and to his horror, Christina spills out on him before he had a chance to confess to the chief. Things are escalating; with the arrow being pointed at Christina. Izzie haven’t been doing much, literally. She is banned from interacting with patients but she does spend some time with Alex, and I kind of like this friendship that is ongoing. Talk about ongoing, speculations are high about Alex and Addison, who knows, we might see something. The only really ‘normal’ people have got to be Derek and Meredith. Nice to see them chirpy for a change, progressing well and lots of giggles around. Alright stop shuddering. I guess the next few episodes are going take us more into the George’s issues and Christina-Burke’s problem.

House on the other hand has been intense too! What is with all these intensity, the writers just love having the audience burning out right? It’s a little less topsy-turvy in House and I think things should start to get better already. Tritter the irritating cop has been increasing the heat on the people around House, Wilson is already defeated, and House’s staff is the next. That insane cop did everything within his ability, freezing bank accounts, carrying out interrogations and searching House’s home (ha!). This brings Wilson just a little over the edge where he is ready, to sell House out.

So everyone around him is feeling the heat but the one who feels the weight most has got to be House himself, although he might not have shown it. He doesn’t have enough Vicodin and this alone is driving him crazy. It got so bad that he actually, for the first time in these 3 seasons, failed to make a correct diagnosis about a patient. I guess he is going to break soon if this goes on. We have seen how he is when he undergoes detox – nasty. Hugh Laurie is on familiar ground again I think, he has done ‘House-going-through-detox’ before. Only this time House suffers more, with Tritter busting him and his pain increasing. His bestest buddy (in his words) is just getting ready to betray him and his staff is nowhere near sympathetic because of their frozen bank accounts.

Ohhh intensity, I like. Just hope things will clear up soon for both Grey’s and House. I mean don’t go into Christmas with such heavy and sad storylines would you? It dampens the spirit! Haha.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

There was exam, and then there was camp. Everything passed by so quickly, quicker than the blink of peishan's very small eyes and even quicker than you can say 'peishan who?'. Exam and camp overlapped in a very irritating awkward way, ask the nus people and they will testify to that. I really must thank them for making the extra effort to come down for camp(crystal!) even though they have papers the very next day. *salute* And through this I see what really matters to them.

Exam was bad but camp was awesome! It occurs to me that this could really be a life transforming experience for many and I am so glad that I went for camp. Aren't you all? And this is not cliche because I am not a cliche kind of person. Rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, how awesome is that! And I think 'awesome' is so the word now, made popular by Pastor Chris. Anyway, I don't know how can I begin to speak of what the camp was about. The workshops, games and services. I just can say I learned a lot. And the rest is pretty personal.

Special mention to my dearest camp comm for pulling me along throughout the camp, I must have been some serious deadweight. Carissa, Toby, Johannes, Shiying, Persis and of course Ben. And to the two camp commandants, David and Louelle, many thanks for being the camp comm's voice and running the programs with us. Oh oh! To all the domain leaders, thank you for being this awesome and wonderful bunch of leaders that helped us in so many significant ways, really couldn't have done the camp without you guys. I remember our great debrief that night when everyone was super sleep deprieved. When we talk about the last workshop and shared our difficulties. I remember Carissa being super high, giggling almost at everything. Then there was the joke ongoing about Cze kin and Abby(woah! am i suppose to be typing this here btw?). Then Nat's struggles about being a mocker. Nahnah they all suddenly gone mad and everyone just started speaking really loudly and in a while the whole room was full with screaming, sleep-deprieved people. Germaine spoke to herself using 2 walkie-talkies, how cool is that. I remember all these and it brings warmth to my heart. (:

More about the workshops another time. Just to sum up that God moved strongly, very strongly in this camp. I love to see my p6ers respond to God and making their stand for Christ. I want to be like them too, making a stand for my Jesus. I want to start making my days count and to be quick to do what I promised Him I would do. And as I type this I can already think of people who will scoff at what I wrote, thinking what is this need to make everything so spiritual? 'Are you just trying to sound holy? What is this need to relate everything to God?' I can think of names already but I cannot explain the joy being in the King's court for one day compared to a thousand days in this world. I can't put into the words but I am not looking for understanding, so it is okay.

Oh a point to note, I can't run and shelve anymore. I am a runner yes I know, but I just can't do this anymore. Who knows, the previous action may have affected me in ways that I couldn't imagine. Okay, the elaboration will come later, let's move to the smaller things.

Exam is over! So many things I want to do before, but suddenly seem to forget about them already. Anyway, met up with lp, ps and chit on friday. Had a great time just hanging around, eating proper food(camp food was abit.. erm) and we watched Happy Feet. Not a bad flick, kind of like Nicole Kidman and Elijah Woods' voices. But I watched it with a throbbing headache, probably why I didn't come out thinking it was that awesome. I want to do this with them more often, I miss my team. I have already booked most of them for 21st Dec's Strings. I really hope everyone will come and do this together(we have never watched a musical together before!). Thanks to those that already gave their promise, I appreciate this alot. (:

I met up with deborah today! Happy happy! Even though ern and nicky weren't kind, seeing her was a big fat redeeming factor. So one of my resolution is to meet her more often this holiday before she flies off to charlene, another friend that I want to meet but cannot meet(boohoo!). What will I do without both of them man. And I am going to meet chuhan! Miss that silly girl loads. Have to catch her before she flies off to her boyfriend in Japan(boohoo!). See, have to catch all my friends before they fly off to someone else, hahah. And I have got a special date with the phang sisters and crazy eugenia(seriously crazy I mean). So things are looking up. I guess I need to be around these people that matters. Of course, hopefully can spend some time with shiying, persis, tianying and jingen(who will not be free at all because of Strings). JB on monday sounds good but stupid ernie says he doesn't want me to go, very evil.

Oh no I think I am ranting already. Okay bye for now!