Friday, September 29, 2006
Retail therapy is no good i concluded. Very very bad for the bank acct. SIGH. then what else more to feel better? haha.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
sometimes i could almost understand why you try so hard to make things alright.i just wish you wouldnt have to go too far before you realised you cant brake.
do we always protect ourselves first? before we look out for the rest.
chop off my right feet please, it's in a super disgusting state. :(
plus my current bedsheet doesnt have a comforter to go along with it. SAD.
Monday, September 25, 2006
I am constantly being reminded that it's been long since I have a decent post. Of decent emotions and decent length. So today, on a lazy afternoon(morning to me cause I just woke up), I'm set to type something decent. Haha.
This is the recess week. While it meant more studying for some of my peers, I have been leisurely wasting the days away. Not that I want to procrastinate, I am fine actually, slacking the hours away. 3 mid term tests before the recess week itself, and that's 3 tests gone(and i hope not counting). Seriously, last week was spent burying myself in the thick thick biomolecular textbook which smell suspiciously like maggie mee. But that aside, i am very excited about this module after recess week because *ahem* HE is lecturing us already. Cheers! heheheh.
Oh did I tell you I watched the king and the clown vcd alr? With a very funny silin and emmiline in my hall some time last week(or last last week i cant recall). The film is not very easy to comprehend, but neither was it hard to understand the message. Basically the cause of all troubles was this veryyy pretty boy(girl?), Lee Joon Ki. Seriously, he is really veryyy pretty! I think if I am a guy I would also fall in love with him. Hahah. Then because he was pretty, alot of Chi Ko Peks(perverted old men) keep wanting to hit on him. His very protective boyfriend kept protecting and was defeated when the king set his eyes on him. So things got complicated, but eventually the two left the palace after professing their love for each other in front of the king. Sad story actually. Love is a source of strength but it is also an instrument to inflict pain.
So that korean show aside, I caught The Banquet last weekend with nicky and my irritating younger brother(HAHA). The show is... I don't know how to say? The cinematography and everything else was very nice and very grand. I like the setting of the whole story, the costumes were mesmerizing too. Plus Daniel Wu was very cute. However the plot left me a bit furious because after all the fighting and efforts, the 6 main characters all died in the end. And some really died of very stupid reasons. It was gory, the film. With the delibrate effort of showing the splattering pattern of the blood of the victims. Why such effort, I don't understand. Nick was really yawning throughout the show, I tried hard to engage myself too. Haha. Then again if you are a daniel wu fan, go ahead and catch the flick. He is a (weak)prince in the show. Heheh.
Yesterday was van's farewell.
I hate farewell. I remember having to send charlene off and I cried which was such an embarrassment. Now it's van, off to York, really dreaded the coming of yesterday. The team made a calender, plastered with all our happy photos. From year 1 to year 2 to this year all our team outings. She cried when she got the present. Then they also made a clock and pasted all of our faces at the parts where the numbers are supposed to be. i was at number 7 (: hahah. van is at 12. it was sothat the 11 of us will always be behind her. i like the symbolic thing. i hope the clock works somehow. they were like making van read the time off OUR clock in OUR time, which she went something like 'oohh okay the time now is huiying: rachel with peishan at the second hand' hahahahs. damn cute i tell you.
we had a very expensive dinner at sakae. we took the special room so have to spend like $200 in order not to pay $20 more for the room. So we ordered like mad and the first time we wanted to foot the bill, the bill was only $140 plus, so we ordered like alot more and i was really damn full. then mich took out the mooncakes and we celebrated ps, jas and mindy birthday. then the madwoman mindy suddenly commented to me that 'last year we celebrated our birthday at manhanttan! so fast one year already.'. And it occur to me, yeah, it has been a year ALREADY. sigh. happy times pass too quickly, it was so hard to hold on to them.
Soon it was time for her to leave. we were a abit emotional. took tons of photos, lotsa hugs and well wishes. Her sisters cried so badly! Feel sad for them. sigh, the things you left behind.
To our dear vanny,
Hope van reach York safely already. We promise to mail you food. anything you want, tell us. And we will sms you! Every team outing. Let you know who never turn up for the team outing, then you must scold them for us. Hahas. And our webcam thing is still on ah (: the 3 of us! then I will invite the whole team over! to webcam with you (: We will also let you know what has mr yong been up to, how was the juniors' A levels results. Update your blog! we will read. Update OUR BLOG (: we wanna hear from you. Dont worry, I will bully leepeng on your behalf hahaha. and anytime you feel like cursing chelsea, can leave a tag on my blog. hahah i will agree with you. take care of yourself, we will be counting down to december (:
Heart and soul my darling van. come back soon. (:
As if you have a choice.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Some sure signs that your bio test is a goner.1) You made up your own story
In the G1 stage, the cell will duplicate the chromosomes and replicate the DNA.
Very funny except that the two events occur in the S phase and not G1.
2) Your brain convinces you that a myosin has a bent and upright conformation.
Nice job mixing up a myosin protein with an integrin. Now all your answers doesnt make sense anymore.
3) You insist that the p53 protein acts in the G2 stage
When we all know that well, p53 functions in the DAMN G1 STAGE. GROWLS.
I don't know how gone I am but i know i'm nowhere near a good pass.
DAMN.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
It felt abit wrong to be here when I ought to be really studying. Haha.
I think I really do need to understand the meaning of contentment. It's a bit non-existent in my dictionary. Which is bad, because it can make me a very unhappy person easily. Grouchy, grumpy, whatever.
Where do you excatly draw the line between being contented and not setting standards? It can go both ways I think, maybe a balance is essential. Then again, I am not good with balance. I think the underlying question can be: What's so wrong about wanting/striving for the best? Is it wrong to want more? Ask for more?
Setting standards, too idealistic no? But there are places where standards need to be set right? Who determines the quality gauge? But then again, there are places where standards cannot be mapped out. In doing so, you might have shoot yourself in the foot.
Maybe demanding for more in terms of tangible things is alright. Studies, work, training. We all ought to do the best we can, we should never settle for second best when we are given the abilities to do much more. I'll like to think its not so much about the end result, but rather the struggling/fighting process. Do not struggle with this level of strength when you are actually much stronger. It's like shortchanging yourself.
I just don't get the part when it comes to people. Should you expect or should you not. If you hope and it turns out different, you get disappointed. But if you do not hope, it seems a tad wrong to think of those that matters so lowly. Be it friends or whatever in this case. Hope/expectation indirectly translate into having high/positive views of the person. It's like you would expect your friends to share a table with you much more than your expectation for a stranger. They can't be equal. Somehow.
When you throw in the amount of time spent together, the feelings that got tangled and the things that happened, you just can't help and expect something. However more often than not, anything/everything can fail you. So what do we do not? Walk around and be gloomly because we don't want to expect anything from anyone? That will be too sad I think.
Seriously, I don't know and I don't have a clue. It brings me back to the very first question. So we should just be contented? Whatever others do for us, we take it and be happy and do not expect anymore?
You know what? Maybe I am too sleepy. Told you its hard to be coherent. Ha.
School has been vicious. The workload and everything. 2 tests on friday, 25% weightage each. Math looks alright but biomolecular is definitely killing me. I ve been burying myself into the textbook these few days. Plamsa membrane, MTs.. actin filaments have been trying their best to drive me insane. It's interesting no doubt but I wonder why did God gives those Nobel Prize laureates the brains to discover SO MANY THINGS!?
I would really need alot of prayers to get through all the tests. ):
So many things I want to rant but I realised I havent been positive enough in the recent posts. Then again, might just as well forget those things because like I can change anything.
KADJQ)*UE(@Y**@Y*($@Y(@$*@YUHEJQB@
I do find it alarmingly hard to be coherent sometimes.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
And I can barely look at you But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Light up...
Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
- Snow Patrol, Run
Okay I think snow patrol wins ok go. hahah the lyrics part is simply mesmerizing. I like the effort made in those words part as much as the musical part. (:
I've got to see you one last night
Before the lions take their share
Leave us in pieces, scattered everywhere
Just give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Just give me something to hold onto
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear cos you are all that I have
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear cos you are all that I have
You're cinematic razor sharp
A welcome arrow through the heart
Under your skin feels like home
Electric shocks on aching bones
There is a darkness deep in you
A frightening magic I cling to
- Snow Patrol, You're all I have
nice.!
So I think I made a smooth transition from acoustic pleasures to alternative indulgences.
Not bad, I must say. The choices made.
Will just note down a few, you people must go check it out. Good bands, good music.
1. Ok Go
Ya, that's their band name. Hahah very funny but their music is quite 'noisy'. But nice. Pieces like 'Do What You Want' and 'Here It Goes Again' should be quite a good start for most. Don't know much on the band, think not much coverage about them. Worth a check though.
2. The Magic Numbers
Don't think they are a new band but who cares anyway. Into their music now. Think I got their songs from one friend quite some time ago. They have nice compositions! 'Love Me Like You', 'Forever lost' and 'Morning Eleven' are quite addictive for a start. The music is cute(to me), in a sense that, you will get 'attached' to it some sort. Like you know, you wanna tap/shake/groove to the rhythm easily. The band gets to their audience quite effortlessly. At least for me. I kind of like them. Sounds happy to me.
3. SNOW PATROL!
This is most prob the alternative band of the moment. Don't think I have to say more. Their 'Chasing Cars' are receiving so much airwave. Heard it twice a day? hahah. But they are definitely worth the good reviews given to them. Very catchy tune to their pieces. Beside that hit, can check out 'Run', 'Hands Open' and 'How to be Dead'. If you like Chasing cars, can give those a try.
So alternative(rock) is keeping me contented now. Shall go to HMV or some cd shops to browse for some good alternative cds. I like this shift. From acoustic to alternative. Acoustic was nice but a tad sad at times. Haha, im beginning to be convinced that the macbook is an evil creation. It's all nice and sleek but it hardly works normally. I cant do my work on it(no MS office), my msn is in a pathetic state(its MSN v4 :( ) and it refuses to sign in every night. Sigh, i'm finding it hard to remind myself of the redeeming factor of the macbook(ehh, it has a webcam.. and... er... cant think of any alr!). Boohoo.
Yawns. much more comfortable today. sigh.
but if it means that it will be an uphill ride for me(us), i don't mind anything.
can give away the distaste for the weather. and the need to crawl back to bed.
powerless does not equate to hopeless I pray.
come back soon, you. i need to jump on you (:
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
oh ahhhh nevermind.put a finger to the lips and shut your eyes.
then nothing may get to you.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Just when I thought things will get better, they have to kick me in the face.Weekends were the best. Going back to church was the only right thing. It was a busy sunday, with activities from 9am all the way to 6pm. No break, but it felt good and it felt right. To the extent that I wish I could quit school and just be in church everyday. Then in this way, maybe things won't get to me.
I would really like to think that everything is really fine and great. But someone told me that even if I pretend/try hard enough, reality will never be kind. I tried to ignore everything, but when it comes to feelings, I caved in. And I caved in terribly.
We are all victims of time. Can never run away from what time did. Even if it hurts like hell to know the damage, I am powerless. The things I've come to learn, the things I noticed, I can't do anything. Even if I tried to hold things together, they eventually fall apart.
I can really do without feelings.
I do know what is going through yet I can't change or salvage anything. I would rather not know, so that I won't feel wrong. But the more I hide, the more it is being expressed. Have you ever wonder what it was like for the people at the side? To know and watch things unfold yet can't do anything. To go back and spent an entire hour in the dark thinking of why it has to be like this. We all know.
But no matter what is being said now I guess it wouldnt matter. My words wouldn't matter. Maybe because deep down I don't matter. We can all just go and be emo on our own and to hell with ALL THE DAMN ISSUES.
do you realise what you are saying to me? that i am a damn lousy friend. even though i try so damn hard to be right.
Monday, September 11, 2006
One can find the absolutely wrong reason/motivation to go for bio tutorial despite a bad headache.HAHAHAHAH. (:
Thursday, September 07, 2006
In the dream you came as the mailman.Wishing me happy birthday.
Those chocolates were your gift for me.
You knew what I like.
I think it was Cadbury but it doesn't really matter.
I was just glad to see you.
But the newspaper said 'Year 5000'
'Am I dreaming or what?' I told myself.
Who cares? I just wanted to see you again.
I did.
And it makes it even more painful when I wake to find that you are gone.
gone and never coming back.
God, how can you allow such dreams?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Time for some feel-good post no?Ha, I'm back home and today is a wednesday! I feel good. Thanks to shiying who drove me home. Really super lucky to have a friend that drives, lives near me and is willing to drive me home! (: Yay. Damn happy.
Days have been good. People have been good. Enjoying lectures and tutorials more now.(I make it a point to entertain myself and not sleep)Eh wanted to talk about alot of things. but i forgotten already. So.. just leave it. Hahah.
I like being around my friends and I hope they like me being around toO (:
Monday, September 04, 2006
As I walked around, doing what I'm supposed to do, I cannot get it out of my head.Those images, I wonder when will they eat into me.
Physically spent, it's time-out.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Back home for the weekend and I feel great!This week has been perpetually tiring. Maybe physically and emotionally. I can't believe I pull through the school days and now it's the weekends already. Took me a lot to survive. Can't really remember what happened for the first part of the week but I hate my bad mood so much that I hate myself.
Wednesday was probably one of the better days I guess. Hahah escaping has never felt so right! :P Me and ps trotted down to town just to catch Umizaru 2. It was ending its run soon and the last screening time is a weird timing of 1250pm. We had to escape, we just had to. So despite reaching Cine at around 1255, we still managed to get a good seat for the show (:
Umizaru 2 was a good watch. Definitely worth all the trouble. Hideaki Ito(Daisuke Senzeki) is simply charming. Goofy yet alluring. I LIKE ! (: heheheh. The show itself was quite action-packed. And I really salute Senzeki for his bravery and refusal to give up.
Fight,for the things you believe in. Even if you can't see the light, trust the heart.
Reminds me so much of njcanoeing.
Fight. I would like to fight.
Happy Ending(luckily). After the show it was off to Food Republic for my FAVOURTIE KOREAN BBQ BEEF!!!!!!!! (: I am so very elated to have that as my lunch. If ntu has this I wouldnt be losing weight/appetite already muahaha. I just love the korean BBQ BEEF HEH (: Then after that its off to shop. Shopping-deprived man, both of us -_-"
Quite fun shopping with ps. Leepeng is my resident shopping partner, so when I had a change, I was indeed very amused.
LP VS. PS
The Differences :
1. When me n leepeng walk into a shop, we head for the ladies' section and will browse together. When me and peishan walk into a shop, I head for the ladies' section and she heads for the men's section. We meet after browsing through both the sections.
2. When I cant decide on what colour I should buy, I consult my friends.
Leepeng: HUH! BROWN AGAIN?! Please lah, stop buying brown shirts! the pink one looks nice! or get the red one la! Or the orange one? PINK IS THE NICEST LO!
Peishan: er, the brown one looks nice. I kind of like the blackish grey one.
Point taken? Bright colours vs. Dark colours. Hahahah.
The Similarity?
Peishan/Leepeng: Huh! U don't try your clothes? Then how you know what size fits you? Better go and try la!! Come come, go and try!
Ha ya for your info, I don't like to try my clothes that I wish to buy because I personally find it a hassle and I do think that my estimating skill is good enough. Hahaha. So in the end, ps forced me to try the shirt and I forced her to try a super funny shirt too. It went like that:
Looks nice right both the shirts! But peishan didnt want to buy the shirt cause she insist its too translucent. I secretly think her refusal is due to the colour. Hahahah. Well, it was really good fun shopping and buying. Blew like $150? Shit. Hahaha. Retail Therapy is good but it's way too costly already :(
So wednesday is good. Thur is alright too. Pulled through the day to meet the cp people at night to view the matches. Hall 14 Korean BBQ beef rocks, but Food Republic one still reigns. They laughed at me for taking a bus while carrying a pillow. Sigh hahah. Funny MEH?!
Let's come to friday, where a series of unfortunate events occurred. How bad can one's day get? Just how bad... Some freak stole my new sports shoes. Would really like to curse that person but think God wouldnt want me to. Then forgot to take my house keys even though I went back hall TWICE. Took a cab with joanne but driver refuse to go 2 places. PAID ALOT OF CAB FARES. GRRRRRRRR.
Whatever. I need out.
It's time to fight.