Friday, May 05, 2006

This one moment of insanity got me feeling down.

I tried not to think of it, tried to reassure myself that God will take care of everything.

Still I couldn't help but fear.

Fear is no good, I know. Fear cripples you. Fear destroys your faith and Fear eats you away.

So I tried not to feel because if I don't think about it, I may forget about Fear. But is trying to feel good trusting God or just running away? I don't know. I get caught in this thinking all the time.

I question myself if I truly believe that God is in control or am I just running away so that Fear can't get me.

As much as I search for the good in everything, I do occassionally get blinded by the negatives.

So tell me, wouldn't it be easier if I don't have to question, don't have to think? I guess I would rather that. Maybe I should stop those philosophy reads.

Gosh, what a totally pointless and random entry. -_-"