Saturday, May 20, 2006

You got to realise that some friends are just there for a season.

As much as after the season you tried to find them back, you would not be able to. When people drift, they usually do so with a velocity and is higher than the speed of realisation. You think that maybe, just maybe you can keep something so that both of you have some connection. However if the other party is unwilling, you can't stop the gap from widening. And when that happens, you have to acknowledge that yes, we are just mere aquaintances trying to be interested in each other's lives. When you have to try to be interested about another party's well-being, then well I guess you can be better off not trying at all.

I find it hard to maintain a relationship. But my passiveness does not indicates a lack of interest nor it means that the person is not important to me at all. Hey I'm like 70% introversion okay, give me some understanding. Haha. I care but I can't show it. And as much as I keep saying that I have very little expectation of people, there are some that I really can't help but want to feel that I can rely on them.

But I am very stupid hor. Go and have some expectation about people then when they failed to do it, I come here and blog and whine. But really, there are some people that you just want to trust. And don't get me wrong, I definitely have people that I can trust. my team and esp baobao which I know will never abandon me nor will they just be friends with me for a few seasons. I thank God constantly for people I can run to.

To this friend who probably wouldn't feel much,
Hey thanks for being a real friend when I needed someone, your prescene makes a difference. but as I look at both of us today, I realise that we have a distance that is greater than what I thought it what was. I do admit my disappointment in your apparant lack of interest in my well-being which I confess that I didnt make enough effort to care about yours too. And I feel kind of sad that we will most probably continue our friendship this way and it was just most probably get more and more diluted. My heart is heavy as I say this, and I am sure this is not just one of my off days that's why I feel sad. But as a mere aquaintance of yours, I hope you are well!

See lah, who ask me stupidly stupidly go and think some people are very nice..
Some people say I am wise(eh really got people say so la), but the wisdom came from trusting the wrong people. So to disappoint my fans out there, I wasn't born a genius, whahaha.

but according to sean, I have a very good life already, so I should stop complaining. Which is really true and therefore the post shall end here. ciaOz! (: