Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Half the time, I'm like the kid who tries to paint happy pictures for everybody.
I like to think that everyone is fine and doing great.
I like to assume that the jug of happiness is overflowing.
I believe that any form of problems actually have ways around it.
I create make-believe situations that seem nice and cherry.
Despite the freezing coldness around me, I find my warmth through friends around me.

Yet half the time I'm the kid that gets left behind in my world.
When people enters in, they laugh and they leave.
They say things and not meant them, however insignificant it may be.
Promises made that only serve them well.
They pat me on the head, treat me well but all I want is things that are real.
Who say God cannot be more real than the tangible things?

I'm not over-generalising things. Just because one person disappoint me induces this post doesnt mean that it is not true. And yet it doesnt mean that it is true either. It's just my thought, my opinion, even if I have assumed certain things, it's just me.
Im agitated today. I don't find it a good day.
I can't do my tutorials at all. I feel like throwing something but my roomie is sleeping.


I guess the only redeeming factor is that TMR will be a good day. If only I can be cold and not be affected by people around me. Then maybe everyday will be a damn good day because I do keep myself in check pretty well.




I'm a bad painter that insist too much sometimes. I should just splash the paint around, not try to dictate anything and convince myself that this is the best picture I can come out with FOR OTHERS.